unfinished bob…

unfinished bob

Pay no attention to that man behind the unfinished curtain…

He’s just a dude who thinks that he controls everything when if fact he’s just another twig in that stream that I like to talk about in really drawn out run-on sentences.

If at some point we felt finished, I suppose we would LITERALLY be finished.  That’s it.  You have to keep something unfinished on your horizon… otherwise, what the freak is the point of anything?  Yes, you get frustrated, you get tired, sad and did I already say frustrated?  Yeah, I did.

I also like to complain.  A lot.  I think it’s mostly because I have a very soothing voice.  And I’m hardly ever satisfied.

So, finish something today.  But when you do, make sure you start five other things.

squirrel cookies…


It would only be cannibalism if I were made out of cookies.  I mean, Frank is shaped like a gingerbread man.  He eats those things by the dozen and no one gives him any static.

uni-life cycle…

life cycle

I try and ride my uni-life cycle every day.  Even when the tire is flat.  Actually it’s a bit easier to ride it that way.  But, even though I try, I fail more times than I succeed.  It’ll try and constantly throw you off balance and you’ll constantly try to resist throwing the whole thing in the river… and taking the bus instead.

Even though biology has graced me with great looks, my ability to balance on a unicycle is wanting.  That inability translates very well into riding a uni-life cycle.  Now I know that life can’t always be a cake and candles, but there has to be some respites from the constant daily balance… or inability to balance… every single dirty, clean, up, loud, silent, irritating, vulgar, idiotic, goofy, smelly, silly, intelligent, smart, genius, filthy, infuriating little thing out there.

it’s all physics…


Apparently, most everything out there or in there can be explained with Physics.  This is something that Frank says to me all the time.  At one point, I think he wanted to pursue a career in science, his only problem being a complete lack of math skills and a overpowering addiction to drawing funny pictures.  He probably would have made a decent physicist…


I personally don’t see how one science can explain everything out there.  I suppose it’s all in how you interpret what you see.  If you can draw some connection between whatever and physics, hey, rock on.  If not, maybe you’re not looking hard enough.

Yesterday, the handles broke off the outside garbage can.  I guess the sanitation workers used physics when they tossed the can back into the driveway.  Frank got a little miffed… but it’s all physics.  It’s all physics.

Maybe I should change the nae of this site from “squirrelosophy” to a derivation of physics.  SQUYSICS?

fooling myself…

fooling myself

Even though I spend a lot of time with myself, I still try and find ways to fool myself.  I have to keep the magic magical and the tricks new and amusing.  Most of the time I just spin myself around in circles while holding onto my tail and singing “Hold My Hand” by Hootie and the Blowfish.  That right there usually does the trick.  After a few choruses of that I’m more worried about finding my stomach than fooling myself.  If you had a tail, that might be something fun to do in order to pass the time.

end of the world commentary…

screwed commentary
Commentary is boring.  Ordinarily, I like to keep my commentary as lengthy as possible… for those of you out there that haven’t the access to proper sleep medication.  I design my words so that by the fifth droning paragraph you’re ready to count sheep…or whatever you want to count… squirrels even.

It doesn’t look good, but it never really has.  The world has been ending the day after it began.  Even earlier than that depending on who you ask.  So I figure this… if we already know without question that we’re screwed, the pressure is off.  I know this sounds a bit fatalistic coming from the mind of a cartoon squirrel…but hey, what are you gonna do?  Stock up on kerosene, canned water, saltines and build an underground bomb shelter by the side of your backyard deck?  What about those that don’t have decks?  Or backyards? If the world truly is going to end, what is that going to do?  So you last until Thursday when everyone else cashed on on Wednesday… it’s not like you’re going to be able to gloat about it… who’s going to hear you?

I also know that the latest prediction is December 21, 2012.  Thought I’d get some feedback before the end.  Yes, I am an attention hog… deal with it… anyway, if the prediction is true, you won’t have to deal with it for very long anyway…

I have a really bad headache now.

time warp again…

time warp

Yes… I did the time warp once.  I was with a bunch of people and they were all doing it.

That’s not true.

I was watching the Rocky Horror Picture Show dvd and was doing it by myself… or so I thought.  Frank was watching and started laughing at me.  There’s a part of the dance that makes my tail do a funky thing… I suppose that he thought it was funny.  Not that I really care what other people think… and it takes an awful lot to make me embarrassed.

On that day, the time warp became that awful lot.

I may do it again one day.  One day…

confused with a moment

confused with a moment

I think I’m more confused than I am not.  Seems like I’m in a perpetual state of confusion.  Being confused doesn’t mean you’re stupid.  In fact, I think it ‘s quite the opposite.  One needs to have a handle on what’s going on in order to live in confusion.  If one didn’t know anything, one wouldn’t be confused…without a clue equals without confusion.  If you’re somewhat hip to a situation but don’t have enough mustard to put you over the top with a decision, that’s confused.  That’s where I tend to make my home.  Being confused means mostly that you’re on the fence.  Some of the best years of my life were spent on a fence…the only place where you can watch the flowers grow on both sides…and the bouquet meets in the middle.

free lunch

free lunch

Most free lunch is imprisoned… the rest has been eaten.  I don’t make the rules, i just commentate on them.