BOB THE SQUIRREL CAPTION CONTEST!

caption contest

What words would you put in Bob’s mouth?

To enter, all you have to do is “LIKE” this  drawing  on Facebook and type in your dialog as a comment. Two winners will be chosen from the entries and sent a black and white print of the cartoon using their dialog. Contest ends Wednesday, February 6, 2013!

Please feel free to share this contest with whoever you like.

motions in a maze…

motions in a maze

Forwards, backwards, round and round and round… motions.  Motions of our day-to-day that basically create our existence.  If one does not move, does one exist?  While you’re chewing on that, think about this:  If you are moving, but your motions are identical all the time, do you still exist?  Your circuit is closed. There is juice flowing, but it’s the same juice, same motion.

I’m not smart enough to figure that out.  I haven’t slept on enough of the right thick books to have that kind of insight soak into my brain.  I just move from one part of the maze to the other hoping i don’t bump my head on any of the walls… avoiding the same dead ends and hoping that by the time I get to the end, the cheddar has somehow turned into velveeta.  Not that my life would change if it were velveeta… but it’s a change nevertheless.

You can’t have change without losing something.  There’s only so much water that will fit into the glass.

literally viral…

viral

I’ve talked about being and going viral before.  It’s just one of those things in this day and age.  One moment, I’m chilling out in a tree somewhere and then next thing, I’m on the internet and hoping to be the next biggest thing 5 minutes ago.  What a way to spend a weekend.

 

i’m just a funny bob…funny ha ha…

humor funny

Most say I’m pretty funny… as opposed to ugly funny.

I’m never going to be in the Superbowl… unless it’s a big bowl in the kitchen.  My mind may be small, but that just means I have less to think with and therefore I can get an answer out much faster than say a human.  Even though that answer may not be the most intelligently inspired, it gets out there fast.  Cash in hand is better than a check in the mail.

If you think I’m funny, let the world know.  Tell all your friends.  On the other hand, if you don;t think I’m funny, tell all the people you dislike…strengthen that tie you want to break with an unfunny squirrel.

My name is Bob the Squirrel and I approved this message.

rules and whatever…

rules and cartoons

Rules are in place because people have a tendency to be morons.  Yes, I used the “m” word… deal with it.  The problem is, rules are made by people.  You see the issue?

I’m not saying that I always am by the book, to the letter.  But, I like to think that I’m 98% there.  I know rules are rules for good reasons.  Mainly to keep everyone from eating each other alive, safety, comfort and one less thing to think about every single day.

So why does it seem as though the notion of following a rule lately seems like a burden to some?  I don’t like that, so I’ll ignore it or I am the exception… Do you know how cracked walnut on a hot summer afternoon screaming until my tail falls of crazy that makes me?  It’s not hard to follow a guide.  It’s actually quite respectful.  And, if you do follow a rule, why should you be rewarded for doing so?  You’re doing what you’re supposed to do.  You don;t get medals for breathing do you?  Why?  BECAUSE THAT’S WHAT YOU’RE SUPPOSED TO DO!

I have another headache.  I need to stop thinking about this stuff…but I can’t help it when it starts cutting in on my action and infringing on my chosen path.  BACK OFF!

And follow the rules… Please?

alien from another alien…

alien

I always felt as though there was something… alien…different about me.   I mean, aside from the fact that I’m a talking squirrel.  Something… out there, but relatively close by.  Something on the tip of my tail, yet, not.

I really need a catchphrase.

catchphrases, zingers and gimmicks…

catchphrases, zingers and gimmicks

Navigation never was one of my strong points.  Then again, I don’t really have any strong points… not any that aren’t already duct taped beyond recognition.  I need a gimmick.  I need a catchphrase… I need something that will bust me out of this mediocrity and into a better class of nuts.  I realize that you can’t catch lightning in a bottle.  Even if you have a great big gigantic  bottle… there’s no way you’re fitting it all in.

Maybe a gimmick isn’t what I need… after all a gimmick can become dated if it’s not malleable and fluid.  It will burn brightly for a moment then poof.  Or, it will continue to burn, but the light it gives off won’t be enough to read the fine print by.  Hey, maybe the fine print won’t be as important by the time the light dims.  Nah, the fine print is always going to be important…without that, there’s be no place to hide all the catches.

Anybody out there have any ideas?  If you do and there a secret, let me know anyway, you don’t have to tell me, but it’s be nice if you let me know.  I’m just saying.

the hypocrite’s hypocritical oath…

hypocrite hypocritical

I don’t have a problem with being such a hypocrite.  It’s good to know what you are when you need to know who you are.  You never know when you’re going to need to know who you are.  It comes in really handy when planning parties or deciding on which movie to go see.  I could be wrong, but because I’m a hypocrite, I won’t readily admit it…at least not in public.

Hypocrites definitely have more fun.  Conventional wisdom suggests that in fact blondes have more fun.  I’ll have to get back to you on that… once I bleach my tail.