10 things you may not know about BOB THE SQUIRREL

No one has asked me, so I’m taking some initiative and doing it myself. I feel left out when I’m not forwarded those viral things… It the real world, not getting something viral is a good thing. Ah well… here goes— and remember: you didn’t ask for it.

Ten things you may not know about Bob the Squirrel:

  1. I never wear underwear.
  2. I love peanuts, but I’m not “in love” with them.
  3. I only stay with Frank because I secretly feel sorry for him. Guess that’s not really a secret anymore.
  4. Rachael Ray does know about us. Frank actually had a shot of getting on the show too. Unfortunately, it was a make-over show. The producers asked if he’d be willing to shave off his ‘stache and beard for it. He (like an idiot) refused… and the phone never rang again. This one is so true that I still cry a little thinking about it.
  5. I really like taking naps with the dogs.
  6. My crassness and sarcasm is only a front… a way to hide my secret pain. Problem is, I don’t know what that pain is because it’s that good of a secret.
  7. I think it’s pretty cool that I’m the lead in one of the greatest comic strips that no one knows about. I’m like the Henry Rollins of squirrels.
  8. It’s way easier for me to say Frank is my best friend than for him to say that his best friend is a talking cartoon squirrel.
  9. I can go into any public place on Frank’s shoulder and no one bats an eyelid. One time an Animal Rights group confronted Frank, thinking he was wearing real fur. He was, the only problem is I was still wearing it. When they saw that I was still alive and a creature who memorized George Carlin’s 7 Dirty Words, it was all good.
  10. If you believe half of what I say, half of what I do and half of what I think, that’s three halves…


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