it’s not my fault I’m short. As President of the United States I promise that if I ever end up in a pocket, I won’t like it… and, I will fight for my own interests until I can find a better pocket… Honest!
I want to be your nest President of the United States. I’m only going to run a 24 hour campaign. Since I go to sleep a little early, I won;t begin campaigning until tomorrow morning. Yes I realize that tomorrow is election day, but I figure this way no one can catch me in a lie and I can’t really promise much… I will run a clean campaign though.
If elected, I promise to do what I normally do… a whole lot of nothing with a little bit of philosophizing…
that is all…
I have some bad habits.
Okay, I’m lying… I have a BUSLOAD of bad habits.
The one that is the worst (at this moment) is knuckle cracking. I crack my knuckles almost constantly. I know I shouldn’t do this and I can already tell that a lifetime of cracking is starting to take it’s toll. It’s just a little bit harder to climb a tree limb than it used to be. At one time I climbed as though my hands were magnets. Light as a feather as as fast as a… something that moves really, really fast. Now, my fingers are stiff…like unsharpened pencils. Granted, I never did much climbing before…but when I did it was fast baby… fast.
But good habits are hard too. They’re easy to start… ask the piles of new gym memberships in January… but really hard to maintain… just ask the gym memberships in March. There has to be a happy medium in all of this habit stuff…
If you have a clue, let a stiffening finger squirrel know.
I never understood how sticks and stones could hurt more than words. That is utter garbage. Yes, sticks and stones can do a ton of physical damage…broken bones, blood vessels, concussions, contusions all that. But words will never hurt me? I contend that words are even worse… True, I can’t recall ever hearing or seeing an instance when a word took someone out or put someone in the hospital…but I’ve seen hundreds of cases where the actions stemming from a word did that.
Think about it. A word is a smart bomb. A drone for the mind. A word could get planted in your brain by a bully when you were in the third grade. The word sat there, rolling around in your head, aging as you’ve aged. Maybe you forget about it entirely. If that’s the case, you won. But what if you haven’t forgotten about it? It’s a foreign body slowly leaking its poison into your system…making you truly believe things that aren’t true…turning you into that word against your better judgement. A word can be a virus…ruining your life.
To me that’s way worse than a stick or a stone. Don’t YOU think so?
Convenience will trump logic nearly every time…
I’m not saying this is right. But then again, what exactly is right? We all know that we should eat better. Fruits, vegetables, non-white sugar type things… but we also know that the bad stuff tastes REALLY good. Not that the good stuff doesn’t taste good. Logic says the apple is better than the oreo. The oreo offers immediate satisfaction followed by a truckload of guilt. The apple offers minimal initial satisfaction, but is better for your body in the long term.
If there were oreo cookies made out of apples, this train of thought would never have to leave the station.
WC Fields had quite a few zingers in his words to make you smile. He also wasn’t a fan of kids and animals. Not sure if that was a real thing or a character thing.
I can be just as pessimistic or optimistic as the next squirrel… Just because you have a smile on your face doesn’t mean it is a true representation of what is lurking just underneath.. behind the teeth, in the stomach, between the toes…
You see where I’m going with this, right?
Smiles are great…but if the breath is bad, it’s not a happy smile. I could be wrong, but I don’t think I am.
What is the question?
“To be, or not to be?”
“Believe it or not?”
“Do you want fries with that?”
There are so many out there. If they were an industrial company, it’s be bigger than Wal-Mart. There are more new questions made every day than anything else in the world. There are more of those made than answers. You’d think that if the questions were growing the answers would be growing as well. Yeah, okay.
Questions are unique in that they can self-replicate. Questions answered more often than not just lead to more questions. It’s a game they play with you. If you figure out one, you want to figure out another and another and another until you don’t even know what the initial one was.
Think about it. The answer will make you crazy. If you have any concerns, just keep looking for more answers.
Frank took time out from drawing and chilling with me to chill and talk with Brian on COMICS COAST TO COAST. When you have a moment check out the podcast!