The cost of paying attention…

paying attention

In the grand scheme of things, paying attention is one bill you need to always cover.

(I can’t believe I actually used “grand scheme” in a sentence.)

I can’t begin to tell you how many fixes I’ve able to get myself out of because I simply paid attention.  I can’t tell you because there haven’t been any.  If i did that, maybe I’d be living with a taller cartoonist or have both a summer tree and a winter tree… and a vacation tree.

The illustration above represents the before picture.  If you were to see what happened after I broke the bank, I’m sure you’d be shocked.  Maybe not.

There was no money in the bank.  That ceramic pig gave up its very structure for nothing… except the three moths that were released.

Just pay attention.

being heard…and learning something new

with a  bullhorn

I am stubborn.  I may have already established that.  The day I got a bullhorn, I became a force to be reckoned with.  Only problem was even though I had a louder voice, I really had nothing to say.  Not really… I HAD NOTHING TO SAY.  I realized that if I never opened myself up to learning new things, volume would be meaningless and a complete waste of time and energy.

 

Self-confidence and squirrel pride…

 

self-confidence

Self-confidence is a great trait to have.  I have more a tendency to get it like someone would get a cold.  It’s not something that is a permanent part of my biology, but I do tend to catch it one to three times a year.

It doesn’t matter if it’s a self-confidence based on something genuine or a fake-ish, psyche-yourself-up-to-do-something-that-terrifies-the-kidneys out of you self-confidence.  Believe it or not, the fake one seems to last longer than the genuine.  Either way, it’s a great feeling… you feel more than yourself, like you can eat nails and break houses into matchsticks.

One has to be extremely careful with this power.  Confidence is attractive, but it treads a fine line between nice and jerkdom.  An overly confident person gets pushed, or rather pushes themselves into that territory.  I, on the other hand, can bypass that altogether… everybody loves a talking squirrel… confident or not.

Right?

thinking in the third squirrel…

thinking in the third squirrel

I do a lot of thinking.  I’m too short to play basketball and my hands are too small to play video games.  After you brush your tail for the millionth time, what else is there to do?  I know what you’re thinking… if your hands are so small Bob, how can you do all this typing?

Slowly…

one…word…letter…at…a…time.

My brain doesn’t have an off switch.  I don’t even have a dimmer.  I tried squirrel yoga, squirrel meditation, squirrel monopoly, squirrel scrabble and squirrel roller derby.  I kinda liked squirrel roller derby… they serve really good roasted nuts there… medium rare just like i like them.

In a deep rut…

in a very deep rut

Ever feel like you’re going in circles? Or, you feel like you’re going straight but the scenery on either side of you revolves like when Fred runs through his house on the the Flintstones?  You’re in a rut.  You’re in a deep rut.

These things aren’t impossible to get out of.  The one thing that is needed is time.  The second thing needed is patience.  If you have at least one of those things, you can get the other.  If you have one and are frantic because you don’t have the other, you’ll be in a bad way and the rut will get deeper.

When you realize you’re in the rut, the best thing you can do is chill… that and check out the brontosaurus bone by your ear.

“Responsibility is a heavy responsibility…”

responsibility is a heavy responsibility

“Responsibility is a heavy responsibility.”  –Cheech, Cheech & Chong’s Next Movie

This is one we all at some point wish wasn’t true… deny, deny, deny… but we all know it is true.  If there is a way to pawn it off  onto someone else, you’d be amazed at how light that stuff becomes…especially when it’s not tickling your nose.

I don’t have too much to say about this… but I am proud of the fact that I am the first squirrel philosopher to ever directly quote Cheech Marin.  I can be really cool sometimes.

 

Marshmallows in my pockets…

marshmallows in my pockets

I love marshmallows.  I love the simplicity of marshmallows.  Air, sugar, water, corn syrup and gelatin.  How many things can you point to in your life that have only five main ingredients?  How many things in your life are as versatile as a marshmallow? A marshmallow is equally effective as a compliment to something else or all on its own.  In some cases, a dish isn’t that dish without a marshmallow.

Can you think of roasting anything else over a campfire? (besides a meat product?) You’re out in the woods, tired from hiking, and hiking and hiking… you find a place to nest for the night… eating only what you’ve carried in with you… it tastes like you made it out in the woods… probably looks like it too.  You choke down the meal; knowing that it is merely to fuel your continued journey… but then, you pull out the marshmallows?  Why marshmallows?  Because, they’re light…and when every ounce on your back feels like a ton that’s a big plus.  More importantly, they’re a familiar taste… a reminder of goodness…comfort.  Anything with sugar does this for me.

I don’t think I’d ever want to live in a world where I couldn’t get a bag of these little spongy wonders.

One has to respect the marshmallow.  We should all strive to one day be like a marshmallow.

it’s not the size that counts

not the size that counts

I’ve had to deal with size my whole life… and it doesn’t look like that will be changing for the rest of my life.  What i lack in stature, I more than make up for in the moments where i can just go absolutely out of mind insane.  Sometimes volume and crazy can do way more than smart and reserved.  The tricky bit is knowing when you can get the most out of your crazy.  You use crazy too much, then animal control gets called and the next thing you know it’s 5 hours later, there’s a tranquilizer dart in your backside and you’ve been dropped in the middle of the woods by some conservationist.

wait, maybe that only happens to me.

Why Rachael Ray is the love of Bob’s life

rachael ray anything

Rachael Ray is awesome.

Those of you out there who have followed me since I was first poorly drawn know there are a few prevailing themes in my life.  One: I don’t speak english, I speak sarcasm.  Two: I like standing on Frank’s shoulder when we go anywhere because if he’s walking, why should I?  And three: I am hopelessly in love with celebrity food guru Rachael Ray.

Oh, I’ve denied it to myself many times.  At one point I even considered ending the non-relationship altogether.  But, when love is love it’s love, right?

I love the fact that she’s pint sized.  I love that she smiles a lot.  I love that she can take ingredients and MacGyver it into dinner in less than 30 minutes.  I love that even though it seems like she’s not real, she is real.  I love that she’s goofy in a very smart way.  I love that I can turn on the TV at pretty much any point of the day and be able to find at least one show she’s on.  I can always count on Rachael to be there when I need something familiar.

I’ve sent valentines. I’ve written songs.  I’ve made her stuff with my own hands that Frank fixed.  All those movies about how to get the girl or the guy lied to me.  I even wanted to pull a “Say Anything…” moment and stand outside her house holding up a boom box.  This last one could work if: I had a clue where she lived, and my tree-climbing arms could hold up a boom box for an entire song.

Now that I think about it, I COULD hold up an iPad.  Yeah… I think this one might have to go back on the to-do list.

I’m not crazy, jI just really dig what she does and what she has made herself into. What I feel treads that very thin line between love and insanity.  When you’re there that;s how you KNOW it’s real.

She’s just great.  The things that we enjoy and love make us happy.  They don’t have to do anything else but that.  Rachael Ray makes me happy.  I will continue to love her from afar…I just hope that this thin line doesn’t break on me.