I’ve resolved myself to being a lot of things. A squirrel. A pain. A sidekick. Let’s face it, I’m not the typical leading man…cripes, I’m not even a MAN. I will be forever riding on someone’s shoulder. The only thing that will ever ride my shoulder is a pack of fleas and maybe the occasional dandruff flake.
Nope, nope, nope… the truth is the truth. I will never be Captain America… always Bucky. Never Batman… always Robin. Never Abbott… always Costello. I will be the flunkie, the goofball, the comic relief. The bullet catcher, the selfless, loyal friend that gets to hear that big speech… or better yet… MAKE a big energy changing, tide turning, climax of the action that makes the hero hunker down and eliminate all the bad dudes speech. Yes. That is what I have become and what I have to look forward to. Making a speech and not getting to be in the sequel.
I am a sidekick. The strip may be named after me, but make no mistake… I am the sidekick. It’s hard enough to get people to read a strip called BOB THE SQUIRREL… Imagine if it was called FRANK THE PAGE? How far out of the gate do you think that one would get? Knowing Frank’s luck, pretty far… considering it wasn’t the choice he made.
Man, do I need an Aspirin right about now.